Mother's Day -3rd April 2011

It’s Mother’s Day this Sunday and my Mother is in that wonderful place called Heaven.  I miss her!

“A mother’s love!  What can compare with it! Of all things on earth, it comes nearest to divine love in Heaven.  A mother’s love means a life’s devotion – and sometimes a life’s sacrifice – with but one thought, one hope and one feeling, that  her children will grow up healthy and strong, free from evil habits and able to provide for themselves”.  (Author unknown).

What makes a Mother?

“A Mother can be any size and any age, but she won’t admit to anything over thirty.  A Mother has soft hands and smells good.  A Mother likes new dresses, music, a clean house, her children’s kisses, an automatic washing machine and Daddy.  A Mother doesn’t like having her children sick, muddy feet, temper tantrums, loud noises or bad reports from school.  A Mother can read a thermometer (much to the amazement of Daddy) and like magic, can kiss a hurt away.  A Mother can bake good cakes but likes to see her children eat vegetables.  A Mother can stuff a fat baby into a snow suit in seconds and can kiss sad little faces and make them smile.  (Author unknown).  ………………Well, that’s one interpretation!

This is another!

“The mildest, gentlest, kindliest Mother, when confronted by someone, who could harm her children, snarls, attacks, bites, claws – and spits them out!”. Also  “ Mums are an interlocking chain that holds the world together” (Pam Brown 1928)

There are quotes are quotes about Mother’s.  I think there is no such thing as the archetypal mother, only in the biological sense. There are many types of Mothers….as there are women but they all raise their kids and send them on their way with love…..that I do know. Mothers and love go together.   My Mother was the kind of person I could share anything with….she was like a second conscience to me.  My most avid thoughts are linked with love, life and food.  I miss her gentleness and warmth….her enthusiasm!  I see her smile all the time when I think of her!  I also see her steadfastness and strength.  As Charles Dicken’s wrote…… “It is the first thought stamped upon our infant hearts”………….I do not know that even in our old age we do not look back to that feeling as the sweetest we have ever known through life”.

I do not have a Mother any more…but I do have a sister …….having a sister is like having a best friend - you know whatever you do, they'll still be there.  A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost. 

Finally.....To all you young mums with little kids.....Please, look surprised and happy when your kids bring you breakfast at 6.30am on Mother’s Day.  Great stuff!

29/03/11

See flower creations for Mother's Day......     http://www.rubymayflowers.net/

Deaf - Are you Aware?

I was on a bus the other day!  (Yes a bus….what’s wrong with that!!)….well actually I was cheating as I went for a long walk and was panicking as I had an appointment and I didn’t want to be late.   I had to have a shower, some brunch and drive 25 minutes so  ….. I decided to hop on a bus to get home quicker….. (it’s free for the over 60’s- so why not!).   Anyway…..as the bus drove off the driver said, in a rather annoying voice, “can you stand away from the Exit door pleeeease”.  There were 2 people standing by the door, one moved and other man didn’t.  The driver said again……(but this time raising his voice in a vulgar way)  “I’ll say it again, will- the- person- by- the- Exit -door -move- away!”.  I realised that the man, by the door must be deaf and gestured to him to come away from the door towards me and signed to him  that the driver wanted him to move away from the exit. He explained that he couldn’t hear!! The man got off the stop before me….but before I got off on my stop, I went to the driver and explained quietly,  that the gentleman was deaf and that he must try and remember that there are deaf people out there who can’t hear his message! I wanted to ‘stick my fingers in his eyes’ but………I didn’t!!!  I daresay it wasn’t part of his training to realise that there are deaf people and old people, who are often hard of hearing.  I felt it was necessary to tell the driver.  I know the deaf man didn’t hear the rudeness of the driver, thank God, but everyone else on the bus did  hear him but for some reason didn’t seem to mind or respond or do anything. Does this mean we are we used to people being rude? Well I‘m not, at all!!

I hate it when people are humiliated just because they have a problem.  It happens to my nephew all the time.  He is profoundly Deaf and gets frustrated when he can’t understand people and although people (like the receptionist at his Doctor’s) know he’s deaf, they don’t know how to communicate with him. They think he ‘s an idiot.  Maybe we should all learn to use  British Sign Language (BSL) at school, although I know some schools do this now, or maybe the local Council should run free courses for us to learn BSL – but there is always a large fee involved.  Employers could ensure their staff are Deaf Aware and send them on courses….especially when dealing with the general public.  It is crucial that these members of our Society are not forgotten.  My nephew wasn’t eligible to have a Cochlea Implant, which is a surgically implanted electronic device that provides a sense of sound to a person who is profoundly deaf or severely hard of hearing but wears hearing aids.  As of 2009, approximately 188,000 people worldwide had received cochlear implants.  The vast majority are in developed countries due to the high cost of the device, surgery and post-implantation therapy.  A small number of recipients have bilateral implants (one implant in each cochlea).
Decisions about Cochlear Implants and the risks involved of having such an operation (with it’s powerful anaethesics and  the danger of introducing bacteria into the brain etc.)………. and the consequences of how deaf children perceive it …...maybe this decision should be made later in life so the deaf person can make up their own mind. 
I think a Cochlear Implant would have made a tremendous difference to my nephew’s  life. …….. Or would it?  I read an account, in the Times Newspaper, by a Mother of a 15 year old profoundly deaf girl, who stated that…….
 “The Deaf are a fierce lot, seeing attempts to “cure” deafness whether through Cochlear implants or genetic research, as a sinister Eugenics.  Deaf people are viewed historically, at best as charity cases and at worst as idiots.  Deaf people are very direct in their communication”.   She went on to say “Deaf people do not see themselves as disabled at all. They may lack one of the senses but they have made BSL it’s replacement, and guard it as a precious jewel, totem of the tribe.  They see themselves as akin not to the blind or the spinally injured, but to the Welsh, an ethnic minority with a culture and a language to nurture, a way of life for which they are willing to fight”.
In the main, Deaf people do not want to hear…..it’s like saying to a black person….would you like to be white! Deaf people want their children to be deaf  too  ( my nephew’s children are all hearing…. we say - thank God they are!).  In the main, Deaf people do not like the oralist approach to education – the idea that speech can be acquired via technology and lip reading is their nemesis, their arch enemy – they blame their low social standing and often miserable childhood.  I think, that my nephew had a great childhood with a family who loved him immensely and helped him as much as they could.  He might see it another way!.  It’s difficult for us hearing folks to work it all out.
Did you know that sign language was banned in schools?  (See extract from ‘Wikipedia’ re Alexander Graham Bell’s involvement). In UK, children spent hours attempting speech  the orally that  it’s not hard to find deaf men and women in their 40’s now  who say they spent so long trying to master speech at school that there was no time for subjects such as History or Biology etc.  
Alexander Graham Bell instigated vocalism in schools and……Wikipedia says ;  “October 1872 Alexander Bell opened his "School of Vocal Physiology and Mechanics of Speech" in Boston, which attracted a large number of deaf pupils with his first class numbering 30 students. While he was working as a private tutor, one of his most famous pupils was Helen Keller, who came to him as a young child unable to see, hear, or speak. She was later to say that Bell dedicated his life to the penetration of that "inhuman silence which separates and estranges." Several influential people of the time, including Bell, viewed deafness as something that ought to be eradicated, and also believed that with resources and effort they could teach the deaf to speak and avoid the use of sign language, thus enabling their integration within the wider society from which many were often being excluded. However in several schools children were mistreated, for example by having their hands tied behind their backs so they could not communicate by signing —the only language they knew— and were therefore forced to attempt oral communication.

How about that then!!  In the 1960’s signing did regain some ground in some areas within the UK.  Unfortunately, not in Cornwall, where my nephew lived.  Oralism was taught in Mainstream schools where deaf children were integrated, for some lessons, from a Deaf Unit.  I think, my nephew lip reads very well but he prefers to use sign language.  Records show that sign language existed within deaf communities in Britain as far back as 1570.

(Wikipedia says: Thomas Braidwood, an Edinburgh teacher, founded 'Braidwood's Academy for the Deaf in 1760 which is recognized as the first school for the deaf in Britain.  Until the 1940s sign language skills were passed on unofficially between deaf people often living in residential institutions. Signing was actively discouraged in schools by punishment and the emphasis in education was on forcing deaf children to learn to lip read and finger spell).

From the 1970s there has been an increasing tolerance and instruction in BSL in schools. The language continues to evolve and was officially recognized to be a language by the UK Government on 18 March 2003.   Yippee! About time!!   The way deaf children are taught in schools is still very controversial. Mainstream schools have bad acoustics and large classes that parents of deaf children face terrifying judgments and decisions about their child’s education. It may be that it is taken ‘out of their hands due to ‘where they live’ and deaf children are still struggling within mainstream schools due to the Government’s insistence on oralism.  The belief that deaf children could learn speech by being taught to lip read has largely been proved wrong.  (There are very few Schools for Deaf  left in UK.  Eleven in the South East and only one in the South West). Statistics show that the majority of deaf children leave mainstream school at 16 with the reading ability of a 9 year old.  It says it all!   

My nephew does have difficulty grasping some aspects of social life…..like Banking Systems and School Selecting Systems…..(join the queue…..we all have difficulties there!).  He is a carpenter but no one is willing to employ him! If we could talk his language….we would all understand him!  It says a lot about our Society today.

Did you know…….that the Deaf Olympics are held every 4 years, and are the longest running multi-sport event excluding the Olympics themselves. The first games, held in Paris in 1924, were also the first ever international sporting event for athletes with a disability. The event has been held every four years since, apart from a break for World War II. To qualify for the  games, athletes must have a hearing loss of at least 55 db in their "better ear". Hearing aids, cochlear implants and the like are not allowed to be used in competition, to place all athletes on the same level. Other examples of ways the games vary from hearing competitions are the manner in which they are officiated. The football referees wave a flag instead of blowing a whistle. On the track, races are started by using a light flash, instead of a starter pistol. It is also customary for spectators not to cheer or clap but to wave their hands in the air!
Over the years…..information has gone back and forth regarding whether BSL or oralism is best or  whether Cochlear Implants  and the associated risks involved are a good way forward.  I don’t know what is best, but this I do know……that  parents of deaf children have a mammoth task in assessing what information is out there.

I will leave you with this extract…..taken from National Deaf Children’s Society website.

“Deafness is not a learning disability, yet 65% of deaf children fail to get grades A to C at GCSE, including English and Maths. Deaf children need vital support to achieve at school, including help from a specialist teacher of the deaf, equipment to hear at school and good acoustics in the classroom. Research shows that pupils who are supported by specialist teachers do better at school than if they receive any other type of assistance………………. But despite this several local authorities and health trusts have been making cuts of up to 50% to the very staff and services that are vital to achieving these objectives”.

What would you do if you had a deaf child?  Would you want them to sign …or speak orally?  I for one, am glad I haven’t had to make that decision.  The deaf want separate “sign-bilingual” schools, where BSL is used to teach English, with a curriculum including Deaf History and knowledge that covers issues as the ‘signing versus oralism debate’.

We should listen to them!

21/03/11

International Women's Day - 8th March 2011

 Global CentenaryYear. 

International Women's Day is a global day celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future. Suffragettes campaigned for women's right to vote and there was great unrest and debate amongst women. Oppression and inequality was making women become more vocal and active in campaigning for change. Then in 1908, 15,000 women marched through New York City demanding shorter hours, better pay and voting rights.  (Brilliant!....I would have been there too!).    So all this started with the Socialist Party of America and a day they called  ‘National Woman’s Day’. This was observed across America in 1909 and in Denmark in 1910, the Idea was put forward for ‘International Women’s Day’ which was finally formed  the following year in 1911.

So it’s 100 years old……(1911- 2011). Brilliant!.  What an achievement.    Record books state that it was ”a time of great expansion and turbulence in the industrialised world that saw booming population growth and the rise of radical ideologies”.  So International Women's Day (IWD) honours the work of the Suffragettes, celebrates women's success over the years, and reminds us what inequalities still need to be redressed.  From 1911 until today it has gone from strength to strength with many countries attending the conferences and is now a global date and an official National  Holiday in many countries including China, Russia and Vietnam.  (I might add that in some Countries it’s a national holiday for  women only……..WOW – power to the girls!).

Since 1980’s there has been a significant change of attitudes with more women taking leading roles in Society….like female Astronauts and Prime Ministers.  Unfortunately, women are still not paid equally to that of their male counterparts especially in areas of Education and Health.

(We all saw the film ‘Made in Dagenham’ where female Ford workers walked out in protest against sexual discrimination for equal pay. The walkout was instrumental in the ‘Equal Pay Act 1970).

Reading about IWD over the past few years, it seems to have moved from being a reminder about the negatives, to a celebration of the positives, and what women have achieved over the years.  Loads of events are held throughout the world to inspire women ……we can all make a difference to the world.    A list of a100 women has been drawn up, by a leading newspaper, of the most voted inspirational women in the world and I look forward to reading who these women are.

I have been very fortunate to have had inspirational women around me over the years - my lovely Mum and my Aunts who were great role models for me and family.

(I have today been to a funeral of one of those Aunties who lived through the adversity of 2 world wars. She had 2 lovely children and had been widowed for over 25 years.  She worked hard until she was 70 and was always optimistic with a cheerful nature.  She’s one of the ‘old sort’ – ‘….. they don’t make ‘em like her anymore!”. She was ‘one of a kind’.  Bless Mary Ellen Bird (known as Auntie May to me – who was in her 98^th year!). She has now been toasted and saluted.  God Bless her!

Lastly, I have 2 inspirational women in my life.....my daughters, who through my life have taught me loads……….one of whose birthday is today…..HAPPY BIRTHDAY Andrea-  keep being inspirational!     (I forgot to mention another person who inspires me every time I see her........my Granddaughter....Ruby May.  

Anonymous quote:  We would all be happier if we gave others a piece of our hearts instead of a piece of our minds!!  Love to all you girls!!

8/03/11