Friends: Quality or Quantity?

Have you ever thought to yourself….  “What great friends I have”.  For those of us lucky enough to have families (spouses/partners ,  brothers/sisters, cousins and children)....potentially,  you have the ’ best friends’  in the world but I think that friends are still of the upmost importance.   In life you have friends and acquaintances.  Some friends will only ever be acquaintances but we call them friends because they are ‘friendly’.  Friends you pick during life usually have common interests and respect your thoughts, values, opinions and choices, even if they disagree with them.  They are someone with whom you share your utmost secrets .  Acquaintances, however, tend to judge you on your outward appearance and persona  and show you surface interest in order to be polite. You have socially accepted conversations and exchange trivia, not deep and meaningful conversations about your interests and life plans like you do with true friends.  

Acquaintances may become friends and this is one of the many ways to make new friends.  You can make new friends from school, work, team -mates in a game of sport, neighbours or people we meet on our travels. Today, you can make friends on Facebook  and various other social networks but these may be transient  friendships.  Motherhood and marriage shape friendships and I met some of my best friends this way.    Are our friends true friends?  I think you have fewer friends as you get older. Friends who will be there for you when bad stuff happens.  Quality over Quantity! Will they do anything for us?  The answer is  “yes, if we ask!”.  Often we are afraid to test them or we say that “if you do this for me….I will do this for you”.

I was thinking about my friends in Brisbane after seeing the news about the floods they have had there,   fortunately, they have not been affected by the floods .  We email each other although we haven’t seen each other for 5 years.   So friends can be near or far, from different ethnic backgrounds  and of any age.  We can all make new friends but whether they become lifelong friends is up to the individual and how you treat them and vice versa.   The one thing I know you must do is to thank them for their wisdom, comfort and support and tell them how much they mean to you and that you will be there for them should they need you.  Don’t tell them later….tell them now.  

Is friendship a habit?  A 16^th Century writer wrote that “Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two people to promote the good and happiness of one another”…..now that’s a good habit we can all cultivate!  A  New Year Resolution perhaps!    He also said “I keep my friends as misers do to their treasure, because of all things granted us by wisdom, none is greater or better than friendship.

For the first time in the eleven years I’ve lived in my house,  I invited my neighbours in for drinks on Christmas Eve.  The ages of each person ranged from 35 to 85 and I can truly say we all had a good time – chatting about Army life now and in the Second World War to deep sea diving, quantum physics and how couples met!!  Interspersed with canopies and large glasses of whisky – different friends -  put the world right!!  At this stage of my life, I meet old friends at funerals and say “we must see each other more often – other than this way”  and when you do get together, you don’t waste a minute of time  and it becomes an occasion you won’t forget.

I will leave you with this thought:  

 “We are each of us angels with only one wing and we can fly only by embracing each other!”      

Luciano De Crescenzo  - born 1928 is an Italian writer, film actor, director and engineer.